So this is Christmas...

My blog would be a book of I caught you up on what's happened since my last post, so let's just go with it. 😉 It's Christmas!! I have always loved this time of year! And this year it's even more special! My girls are old enough to truly anticipate Christmas and celebrate the magic of the season. They're still babies, but I think they're beginning to understand the true reason we celebrate. Myers attempts to steal "baby God" from the nativity everyday and Aspen says Jesus lives in her stomach (while pointing to her heart!). We're working on it. They ask to go wave to Santa at Friendly multiple times a day. Aspen sat in his lap because she had to tell him she wanted candy canes. Myers stared him down and clung to Blake, but still fully expects candy canes. She also helped me decorate the tree and didn't smash ornaments or pull the tree down on top of herself. We celebrate every accomplishment. I absolutely cannot WAIT to see their faces on Christmas morning. What a joy to be able to experience the magic through their eyes! 

We've also been fortunate enough to celebrate the season with sweet friends. Blake and I had the opportunity to visit Pinehurst this past weekend. The men golfed and the women shopped and enjoyed the spa! What a great way to slow down during such craziness! 

And even amidst such cheer, there is an ache in my heart this year. One year ago this week, my precious girlfriend, Lydia, went to live with Jesus. That horrific day changed me. My heart has truly never felt such gut-wrenching sorrow. It didn't make sense. How can I be giddy with the excitement of the holidays (the one holiday SHE loved so much!!) one second and a mere phone call later be on my knees, paralyzed by pain and anger? How does a person with SUCH A PRESENCE just go away? How could someone be so careless as to CAUSE such a void? And will he ever understand what he took from me? From her family? From anyone who ever loved her?

Last night, I spent time with Lydia's mother, sister and friends who miss her so much. As Mrs. Joyce said best, "It's almost like she might come walking through the door." I hope we can do that every year. It calmed my soul and prepared me for a week I wish I could skip...

Instead, I'm making a conscious effort to choose joy this week. I'll choose joy in spending time with those I love most. I'll choose joy in rocking my babies after nap. I'll choose joy in going to see Santa AGAIN! ☺️ And most of all, I'll choose joy in being thankful that ONE DAY, there will ONLY be joy at Christmas. 

We've been a little busy! :)

So, the past month or so has been a little wild for our family! I pressed through the last few weeks of pregnancy, trying to remember to play hard with my only child, tidy/organize/stock up the house, eat whatever I please and savor a full night of sleep. 

And then it was over. The wait that you think will NEVER END! It does...your day comes :) I fought tooth and nail this entire pregnancy to not have another C section. But in the end, God's plan to get my sweet baby girl here safely was just that. And I'm so thankful that his plan is perfect. It went a little bit like this...

On Wednesday, September 25th, I stomped begrudgingly into Women's Hospital for my pre-op appointment. I wished so hard that this would all be in vain. Truthfully, I'm a wimp! I didn't want an IV, I was scared to death of an epidural, a blood clot, an intraoperative "nick" of something other than my uterus, an infection of some sort...MRSA!!!!!! Basically, I needed a Xanax. But that's frowned upon during pregnancy ;)

So, I completed the pre-op regimen of bathing with CHG (which smells a bit like medicated dog shampoo), clean gown, clean sheets. I bent the rules on the "no animals in your bed the night before surgery." Sorry, that's my first born princess.

When I arrived at 6:00 am on Friday morning, there was no turning back. I was going to meet this precious, yet-to-be-named angel TODAY!! :) I was equal parts excitement and nerves. And then I met all of the angels that God sent to take care of me...

They talked to me like I was just "one of the girls". "Oh, where do you work at Cone?", " Do you know such-and-such?", "I used to work..." It took my mind off of things! We chatted, we fussed about Epic glitches, we compared notes :).

My veins didn't want to cooperate for an IV, but they had the ever glorious lidocaine, so I didn't mind! Lab came to draw some pre-op work. I pointed out the "go-to girl" in my right arm and the sweet phlebotomist got her on the first try! Hallelujah!

Then I heard a familiar voice! Franklin came to show me how tiny that spinal needle he was using was going to be! He said things like "much smaller than last time" & "wears off quicker". My palms were sweaty, but if there's anyone I'm trusting to stick a needle in my spine, it's Franklin.

All sorts of friendly folks kept stopping by my...cubby? Curtain? People I knew. People who knew me. People who knew one of my sister-in-laws. People who were actually working :) I met the most amazing CRNA student, Miranda. I explained to her that one of the things I was most nervous about was getting sick. My pressure runs low and all of those medications I received lowered it even more when I had Aspen and I DID NOT want to feel that nausea, cold sweat, faint feeling. The pits!!! She assured me that she would take care of me...

Now that I was all prepped, time to get Blake in his stylish OR attire! Seeing him in his "bunny suit" made me giggle. 

And then, it was GO TIME! We arrived in the OR and the staff had Jason Aldean playing. I can dig it :) I held on to my precious nurse as Franklin did his thing :), laid back and let the numbness creep.  "Do you feel cold here? How about here? Less cold? She just pinched the crap out of you...you didn't scream. Time for baby!" 

Miranda kept peering down from her "station" behind me and asking if I felt ok. The second I felt queasy, she gave me drugs! I got nausea meds, pressure meds, the good ole "sniff this alcohol swab". It worked! She was amazing and on top of my every need! We talked nursing, family, how sweet "two girls" was going to be :) 

As a matter of fact, it was pretty much a party on my side of the curtain! We all talked Crossfit, SOS, they voted on our baby names...

And then, at 7:50 am, my precious girl arrived! I saw her sweet face, heard her strong cry. She had business to take care of upon arrival into the world...1 and 5 minute Apgar scores. I strained to listen for those. She was a 9/10! And then she laid on my chest for the first time. It was immediate, unconditional love. She stopped crying and went to sleep almost instantly. We took pictures anyway ;) 

The wonderful care continued when we got to our room. They took amazing care of us, yet gave us the privacy we needed to love on each other, introduce her to her big sister :), be surrounded by family. 

Forty eight hours later, the birth registrar hunted us down :) And we chose a family name...Myers Elizabeth.

Life is sweet. :)

Babymoon!!

Not too long ago, my mom asked me, "When are you going to let Aspen come spend the night at Granny and Papa's?" In about a millisecond, I spit out, "How about a weekend? The last in July?" ;) When you're a mom, a weekend of just hanging out with your husband with no "mommy responsibilities" sounds like winning the lottery! And so, we planned our babymoon. 

I knew Aspen would have a blast at my parents house...my mom is the biggest kid I know! :) They visited my grandmother in the nursing home, ran around the yard chasing cats and dogs (my sweet girl loves adventure and animals!), rode the golf cart and played peekaboo until Aspen was just exhausted. And of course Aunt Nanny came for a visit!! She had no trouble sleeping for naps or at bedtime (she usually doesn't, but as a parent it's my job to worry ;)). She loved being at Granny and Papa's, which allowed Blake and I to enjoy our time away. We knew she was safe and happy. What more could we ask for?

So, we enjoyed some alone time at the beach. We had breakfast together every morning, ACTUALLY sunbathed, napped, and (gasp!) stayed out past 7:30! I got a mani/pedi and did some solo shopping! We went fishing with my father-in-law and ate lunch on the waterway. The weather was breezy, sunny and beautiful! It was so much fun to relax together with no schedule! :) 

Now, we're back to reality...let the craziness begin again! We're ready for you sweet baby girl #2!!! Well, with the exception of picking out a name for you...

Hey there, 30!!!

Over the next 3 weeks, the besties will all say goodbye to our twenties! I'm pretty sure our parents are just glad we made it out alive. It's been a decade of survival and growth. A decade of true heartache and immense joy...

Yesterday, we went wedding dress shopping with Amber and found the most beautiful gown. The perfect gown. Beauty, smiles, "oohs and ahhs", champagne and memories filled the fitting room. Memories that I'm too pregnant to write down because I've already applied my mascara today :).

I love you Ber & Turner!! You are the best friends I could have ever asked for!! I'm excited to see what the next decade has in store for us!

Because, clearly, yesterday's pictures are under tight security! :)

OBX with the Jones family!

One of the things I miss most about my grandfather is how much he loved the beach. Perhaps it wasn't even so much "the beach" as it was having his whole family under one roof. Some of my fondest childhood memories are from "Blue Heaven", our cottage at Topsail.  He would wake me up at 6:30 in the morning to make the 15 minute drive into Surf City to go eat breakfast with him and his buddies. I never thought he was old, certainly never boring. Our 60 year age difference was totally insignificant. we were besties! :) Returning home, we would "suit up!" for the beach with the whole family (except Grandma...she was way to prissy for all that sand ;)). He would stay for just a little while (sporting his shorts, t-shirt and Reeboks), but we girls would stay allllllll daaaaaaay looooong! In the evenings, we would return, rock on the porch until our bathing suits were dry, fight over who was going to get a shower first, and cook dinner! Papa LOVED this...all of his family eating dinner together...laughing, joking, telling stories. At night, we would play board games, walk on the beach with glow sticks looking for crabs, play ping pong, and inevitably send one of the men to the ice cream shop down the street to pick up dessert! 

I loved these lazy beach days and we all miss "Blue Heaven". So, we planned to take a family vacation to the beach this year! We rented a house in Duck and had a blast! Our family has changed. There are additions since our Topsail days, including two sweet little pumpkins that have brought us all an incredible amount of joy! And there are voids. Grandma and Papa have both gone to be with Jesus. But, last week, I know without a doubt that they were smiling down, happy we were all together!

We spent our days by the pool, afternoons playing on the beach, and evenings having family dinners, retiring to the porch and laughing...LOTS of laughing! Mainly at outrageous names for Baby Blackwell #2, the fact that some of us packed like "Doomsday Preppers", and watching Aunt Bea search for any sign of a spider. 

Aspen loves the ocean (thank goodness!). She loves eating the sand, jumping the waves, playing with her sand buckets, pointing out every dog and bird she sees! Poor thing played so hard everyday that she slept like a champ!! Better than she does at home! She would nap for 3 hours each morning and another hour in the afternoon (sometimes accompanied by Daddy). We kept her normal bedtime of 7:30 and she wouldn't wake until 6:30-7 in the morning. I was worried that we would wake her because we were all sleeping in the same room. Oh no! She never budged even when we came in to get ready for bed or got up in the middle of the night! I loved hearing her sweet breathing every time I woke. I wanted to snuggle up in the pack n play right beside her!! It was hard to come home and sleep separately again!

I love how adults are just big kids at the beach. We kayaked, paddle boarded, watched a parade to celebrate Independence Day, engaged in a week long prankster battle that looked a bit like this...

The two biggest kids I know...my Mom and husband. :)

Here are a few more pictures from one of the best weeks I can recall...honestly, the pictures are few because we were too busy making memories! Most of these are stolen from Kelly! 

Packing for the beach.

Sitting in traffic trying to get into Duck!

My "fruititarian" enjoying strawberries!

Feeling festive!

Snoozing in the closet.

Blake's new hobby...

Sea Tow rescue...

Cletus!!!

Fun Fourth!!!

Parade!

She loved the view from the top! :)

I wanted this baby deer!

Kelly Bird caught a fish!

And paddle boarded with Aristotle, haha!

Two peas in a pod!!!

Kelly & Dillon in the hot tub...

Celebrating!

Catching some rays...

Siblings...

Tough life...

Aunt Bea!

Nanny!

Lovebirds...

Some frisbee action.

Our first trip to the ER :(

When you decide to have a child, you choose to live the rest of your life in a state of complete vulnerability. You pray daily for their safety, health and happiness. You have no idea what you would do if any of those three were compromised...until you do.

Last Wednesday, Aspen was scheduled for her 12 month doctor's appointment. The day before, my director called to see if I could work on a last minute project concerning our move to the North Tower (July 1, penthouse, here we come!! :)) I agreed and Blake offered to take over appointment duty. 

Wednesday came and everything was going as planned. Aspen was staying with my sister-in-law, Jennifer, whom I had instructed on Aspen's post-vaccination routine. She sleeps. A lot. She was never fussy or irritable after her shots. As a matter of fact, after her first round at 2 months, she slept for 4 hours. It was pretty amazing.

So, when Jennifer texted me at 5:00 to say that Aspen was still napping, I wasn't concerned. I told her just to let her rest until 5:30, but no later. We have "bedtime" down pat in this house. We don't waiver or do anything that might cause a hiccup. :) But, at 5:15, I received a text from her that I will probably never be able to erase from my memory. It shook me to the core. It was a video of my child sitting in the middle of the floor, slumped over, staring at the ground. Her eyes were wide open and she wasn't responding to Jennifer calling her name. I grabbed my bag and ran to my car. 

I called Jennifer, "Is she responding NOW?" I called Blake, "Meet me at your sister's house." And I prayed. So hard. 

When I got to Jenn's, Aspen was almost back to normal. Her pediatrician's office instructed us to go to the pediatric emergency room. Blake drove like a mad man. My precious girlfriend and coworker, Loren, met me in the ER and had already hand-picked a nurse for us. :) A nurse she knows and who was just the most comforting, loving angel that could have taken care of us. We retold the story and showed the video to the nurses, nurse practitioner, and the doctor. They, too, seemed a bit puzzled. "Typically, seizures after vaccinations are the "convulsion" type, not the "absence" type. She had no fever. Maybe it was just a weird episode? If it was a seizure, it will happen again. Definitely abnormal." So, our "answer" wasn't comforting. Sometimes, you have to deal with the fact that there are no definite answers. And move on.

Aspen has been totally normal since then, thank God! I'm pretty sure she hasn't sat still since then. She certainly doesn't have time to be sick. Too many babies to stroll, musical instruments to bang on, kisses to give...

Here's a picture of her enjoying all the attention she was getting in the hospital ;)

Happy Birthday to my best girl!

A few weeks before Aspen was born, we were visiting my parents in Mt. Olive. I was exhausted! Between travel, showers, working full time, preparing the nursery and repeating the answers "Yes, this is our first. It's a girl. June 7th. No, it's not twins." at least 25 times a day, I just wanted REST! So, I went to find my mom to tell her "goodnight" and when I found her, I must have had "the look". "The look" that says "I know I'm grown , but I really want to pretend like I'm 5 and cry and let you make it all better!" She simply gave me a hug (well, it was kind of a side-hug secondary to the protruding abdomen), rubbed my head and said, "She's going to be worth it...and I can't wait until you have her, because then you'll know how much I love you."

Truer words have never been spoken. She was worth the wait and the love that my mom was talking about...I just would have never known that without Aspen. My sweet baby arrived in timely fashion...right on her due date! And life as I knew it was over. Life now meant focusing every waking hour on the needs of another human being, and it wasn't easy! It's safe to say that I had NO CLUE how to be a Mommy. But everyday got a little easier as we adjusted to life as a family of 3. And now, a year later, I can't imagine a life without her gummy smile, slobbery kisses, the way she laughs when I poke her belly button, how she hugs Mollie-Kate and says "Ahhhhhhh" when she feels MK's hair against her face, the way she gets excited and kicks her legs when she sees our niece, Christa, the way that little voice sounds so country when she says "baaaaaaybaaaaaay" when she wants her baby doll, her laugh when I tickle her (she is soooooo ticklish), the way she pushes her new baby doll stroller around like its just instinctual...I could go on! :) 

Thank you, Aspen, for teaching me to love deeper, be less selfish and act a little sillier! I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you, sweet girl! Mommy loves you!

Here are a few pictures from her birthday celebration last weekend:

Lemonade stand that my sweet Daddy made for the birthday girl!

Getting sleepy from all the birthday fun!!

Started walking just in time for her party!!