So this is Christmas...

My blog would be a book of I caught you up on what's happened since my last post, so let's just go with it. 😉 It's Christmas!! I have always loved this time of year! And this year it's even more special! My girls are old enough to truly anticipate Christmas and celebrate the magic of the season. They're still babies, but I think they're beginning to understand the true reason we celebrate. Myers attempts to steal "baby God" from the nativity everyday and Aspen says Jesus lives in her stomach (while pointing to her heart!). We're working on it. They ask to go wave to Santa at Friendly multiple times a day. Aspen sat in his lap because she had to tell him she wanted candy canes. Myers stared him down and clung to Blake, but still fully expects candy canes. She also helped me decorate the tree and didn't smash ornaments or pull the tree down on top of herself. We celebrate every accomplishment. I absolutely cannot WAIT to see their faces on Christmas morning. What a joy to be able to experience the magic through their eyes! 

We've also been fortunate enough to celebrate the season with sweet friends. Blake and I had the opportunity to visit Pinehurst this past weekend. The men golfed and the women shopped and enjoyed the spa! What a great way to slow down during such craziness! 

And even amidst such cheer, there is an ache in my heart this year. One year ago this week, my precious girlfriend, Lydia, went to live with Jesus. That horrific day changed me. My heart has truly never felt such gut-wrenching sorrow. It didn't make sense. How can I be giddy with the excitement of the holidays (the one holiday SHE loved so much!!) one second and a mere phone call later be on my knees, paralyzed by pain and anger? How does a person with SUCH A PRESENCE just go away? How could someone be so careless as to CAUSE such a void? And will he ever understand what he took from me? From her family? From anyone who ever loved her?

Last night, I spent time with Lydia's mother, sister and friends who miss her so much. As Mrs. Joyce said best, "It's almost like she might come walking through the door." I hope we can do that every year. It calmed my soul and prepared me for a week I wish I could skip...

Instead, I'm making a conscious effort to choose joy this week. I'll choose joy in spending time with those I love most. I'll choose joy in rocking my babies after nap. I'll choose joy in going to see Santa AGAIN! ☺️ And most of all, I'll choose joy in being thankful that ONE DAY, there will ONLY be joy at Christmas.