Our first trip to the ER :(

When you decide to have a child, you choose to live the rest of your life in a state of complete vulnerability. You pray daily for their safety, health and happiness. You have no idea what you would do if any of those three were compromised...until you do.

Last Wednesday, Aspen was scheduled for her 12 month doctor's appointment. The day before, my director called to see if I could work on a last minute project concerning our move to the North Tower (July 1, penthouse, here we come!! :)) I agreed and Blake offered to take over appointment duty. 

Wednesday came and everything was going as planned. Aspen was staying with my sister-in-law, Jennifer, whom I had instructed on Aspen's post-vaccination routine. She sleeps. A lot. She was never fussy or irritable after her shots. As a matter of fact, after her first round at 2 months, she slept for 4 hours. It was pretty amazing.

So, when Jennifer texted me at 5:00 to say that Aspen was still napping, I wasn't concerned. I told her just to let her rest until 5:30, but no later. We have "bedtime" down pat in this house. We don't waiver or do anything that might cause a hiccup. :) But, at 5:15, I received a text from her that I will probably never be able to erase from my memory. It shook me to the core. It was a video of my child sitting in the middle of the floor, slumped over, staring at the ground. Her eyes were wide open and she wasn't responding to Jennifer calling her name. I grabbed my bag and ran to my car. 

I called Jennifer, "Is she responding NOW?" I called Blake, "Meet me at your sister's house." And I prayed. So hard. 

When I got to Jenn's, Aspen was almost back to normal. Her pediatrician's office instructed us to go to the pediatric emergency room. Blake drove like a mad man. My precious girlfriend and coworker, Loren, met me in the ER and had already hand-picked a nurse for us. :) A nurse she knows and who was just the most comforting, loving angel that could have taken care of us. We retold the story and showed the video to the nurses, nurse practitioner, and the doctor. They, too, seemed a bit puzzled. "Typically, seizures after vaccinations are the "convulsion" type, not the "absence" type. She had no fever. Maybe it was just a weird episode? If it was a seizure, it will happen again. Definitely abnormal." So, our "answer" wasn't comforting. Sometimes, you have to deal with the fact that there are no definite answers. And move on.

Aspen has been totally normal since then, thank God! I'm pretty sure she hasn't sat still since then. She certainly doesn't have time to be sick. Too many babies to stroll, musical instruments to bang on, kisses to give...

Here's a picture of her enjoying all the attention she was getting in the hospital ;)

Happy Birthday to my best girl!

A few weeks before Aspen was born, we were visiting my parents in Mt. Olive. I was exhausted! Between travel, showers, working full time, preparing the nursery and repeating the answers "Yes, this is our first. It's a girl. June 7th. No, it's not twins." at least 25 times a day, I just wanted REST! So, I went to find my mom to tell her "goodnight" and when I found her, I must have had "the look". "The look" that says "I know I'm grown , but I really want to pretend like I'm 5 and cry and let you make it all better!" She simply gave me a hug (well, it was kind of a side-hug secondary to the protruding abdomen), rubbed my head and said, "She's going to be worth it...and I can't wait until you have her, because then you'll know how much I love you."

Truer words have never been spoken. She was worth the wait and the love that my mom was talking about...I just would have never known that without Aspen. My sweet baby arrived in timely fashion...right on her due date! And life as I knew it was over. Life now meant focusing every waking hour on the needs of another human being, and it wasn't easy! It's safe to say that I had NO CLUE how to be a Mommy. But everyday got a little easier as we adjusted to life as a family of 3. And now, a year later, I can't imagine a life without her gummy smile, slobbery kisses, the way she laughs when I poke her belly button, how she hugs Mollie-Kate and says "Ahhhhhhh" when she feels MK's hair against her face, the way she gets excited and kicks her legs when she sees our niece, Christa, the way that little voice sounds so country when she says "baaaaaaybaaaaaay" when she wants her baby doll, her laugh when I tickle her (she is soooooo ticklish), the way she pushes her new baby doll stroller around like its just instinctual...I could go on! :) 

Thank you, Aspen, for teaching me to love deeper, be less selfish and act a little sillier! I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you, sweet girl! Mommy loves you!

Here are a few pictures from her birthday celebration last weekend:

Lemonade stand that my sweet Daddy made for the birthday girl!

Getting sleepy from all the birthday fun!!

Started walking just in time for her party!!